Saturday, December 6, 2008

The War on Christmas

A few weeks ago, I was writing a long-ass blog post about the "War on Christmas," after hearing Bill Donahue criticize the signs put on DC busses that said "Why believe in a God? Just be good for goodness sake."

I ultimately decided that my six paragraphs of bloviating weren't worth the time I had already put into them. I just didn't CARE enough about a few asshats refusing to shop at Target because they were wished "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."

Now, though, the War on Christmas is on in full force. You may have heard about the Atheist sign allowed to be displayed along side the nativity and menorah in the Washington State capitol.

Well the sign was stolen. It was later found in a ditch and returned, but some atheist peeps are now saying that baby Jesus in the nativity scene is fair game.


Okay let's just lay this out, so that everyone is on the same page here:
  • Christmas trees on government property = okay. They're pretty much a secular symbol now. And shiny.
  • Nativity scenes on government property = no. They are clearly and explicitly religious symbols.
  • If you must have a nativity, then other religious symbols or displays should be allowed. And pretty much any religious group that wishes to participate should be allowed. This includes atheists.
  • If you're an atheist group and you want to put up a display, don't make it a sign you made at Kinko's that's a big page of black text saying "religious people are a bunch of fucktards." First off, it's boring as hell to look at. Secondly it will be seen as an attack. It is an attack of course but still.
  • Seriously dudes! Do something creative like the Flying Spaghetti Monster statue peeps. Do something positive where instead of saying "These are the reasons religion is evil," say "Chekk it! We're atheists and we be luvvin life!" Only don't say exactly that. Maybe just have a nice, "isn't it great hanging with your friends and family this time of year?" thing with the scarlet A or something at the bottom.
  • If you are a Christian and don't think a given religious group has the right to display their sign on YOUR public space, well, now you know what it feels like to be an atheist or a jew or a pasafarian or a hindu when you see that nativity scene.
  • Don't steal other people's stuff. Period.
Are we all clear now? War is over if you want it.


AmanDarrell said...

I, for one, don't think christmas trees on public property = okay. As a Christian, I am absolutely opposed to Christmas trees. For, as the Bible sayeth,:

"For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. . . . They are altogether brutish and foolish." (Jeremiah 10:2-8)

The Bible explicitly forbids Christmas (or should I say Pagan) trees. All true Christians must unite and protest Pagan trees put on display on public property. There's a War on Christmas, people! Department stores that put up Pagan trees are sending the message that the holiday our nation celebrates this time of year is Winter Solstice, not Christmas. Are we a Pagan nation or a Christian nation? I think we all know the answer to that.

GreenishBlue said...

Hahah! Wow, I had no idea that passage existed! This makes me more pro-tree than before.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of Bill O'Reilly!


GreenishBlue said...


Did my post itself remind you of Bill O'Reilly, or just the topic? I sure as hell hope I don't sound like Papa Bear.

Also, DS, your blog comes right up against Poe's law... I'm having the damnedest time determining whether you're satirical or serious... Right now I'm leaning toward serious? Please allay my fears and tell me you are joking.